Do. Not. Quit.

In the midst of this time of study, there are days when I would like to quit. Developing theory and training your mind to think about things differently is not for the faint of heart. 

Recently I spent a week at the guest house of an Anglican Franciscan convent for a writing retreat. The food was good, the bed warm, and the environment conducive for writing. I wrote about 6000 words during those 6 days. However, I also wrote a few messages to friends that said: "What in the world am I doing?" "Why am I doing this?"

Why am I doing this?

It is easier to quit. It won't hurt anyone. Why bother?

Let the brainiacs write the theory and study theology. I'll just keep on doing and serving.

Then I stopped and took a look around at my setting. I was in a place where women had committed their life to God and prayer. They prayed together 5 times a day, every day, and then also committed the rest of the time of their day to prayer and doing good works. They grew their own food. They made  items to sell for the upkeep of their house. They did this every day. 

They could have gone the easy route and gone to the store to purchase food. They didn't have to pray 5 times day. Surely it was enough to have only one corporate prayer. They could have said: 

It is easier to quit. It won't hurt anyone. Why bother?

But they don't. I met two ladies who had lived this life for more days than I have been alive. They loved God and because of their love for Him, they committed all of their days to Him. Sure they could have taken an easy route, but they chose to pray. Prayer is hard work. It takes discipline. It takes time. It interrupts the day. It never stops.

But it works.

So why do I bother writing a PhD? Because I believe that somewhere in this God is directing me to Him. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm stretching. 

Sometimes I would like to give up because it just seems too hard. It takes far too much discipline. It takes an enormous amount of time. It interrupts my day. It feels like it will never stop.

But it works.

It is working to form my thinking, stretch my assumptions, and hopefully, somehow, will change a part of the world. And hopefully change it for the good of the Kingdom of God, not just my little world.

Is it easy? No way. 
Will there be more days that I would like to stop? Probably.

But I need to see the bigger picture to realize that this process is probably not for me, but for the next generation. The theories and thoughts that I put on paper will hopefully affect the theories and thoughts of those who follow me. If I can think differently about theology and missiology - to see it as God sees it - maybe, just maybe I can get it right and communicate that to someone else.

So, why am I doing this?

Because I am not going to quit.*

*special thanks to Sister Margaret for her inspiration.

The Community of St. Clare, Oxfordshire, England

Why missionary to missiologist?

My day has been filled with the study of missiological education. In the text Missiological Education for the Twenty-First Century (Woodbury, Van Engen, Elliston, 1997), I came across the following quote that gives the reason why I am pursuing a PhD in Intercultural Studies, and why I am attempting to move from being a missionary to becoming a missiologist:

Samuel Escobar “The key difference between a missionary and a missiologists is that while the missionary accomplishes the task that his or her call demands, the missiologists also reflects about the task in a critical and systematic way.”

Not only do I want to accomplish missio Dei (the Mission of God), but I want to reflect on WHY I am doing it. 

More to come...thanks for reading.

In the Library...

This journey all started about 9 years ago as I was completing my Master's degree. I enjoyed the research, writing, and gathering of data so much that I knew I could probably do more. In 2010-11, while in the US on my missionary furlough, I began searching for further study programs, realizing a few things along the way: 1) PhD programs are expensive, 2) There are many great and not so great programs out there, 3) It was important to find a program that fit me, not the other way around.

With these basic tools in mind, I did not make the search solely an academic endeavor, but both a practical and spiritual search. You see, I've been involved in mission outreaches since 1989. That's 24 years. I have given my life to the cause of Christ and know without a doubt that I am "called" to do what I am doing: make disciples. Therefore, if I go about study with just my head, my heart and soul will miss out on the process and my academic work will ultimately become soulless, lacking a practical outworking.

As for my background in missions, my work in cross-cultural settings has primarily been in hands-on engagement in missionary praxis. I don't have a missions degree (I have a BA in Bible/Youth Ministry and a MA in Christian Ministry), and although I do have many missions classes and lots of reading under my belt, my heart, hands, and mind have been focused on the practical outworking of helping bring the Good News to those who have not heard. Bottom line...I am not a theorist but a mission practitioner.

I am a missionary, not a missiologist.

However, after 13 years working at a seminary offering practical training to students preparing themselves for vocational ministry, I realized that I needed to have more than just experience. This is why I pursued my Master's degree and really thought that was the end of my personal academic journey. But there is something that happens as you engage in the world of academia. A switch is turned on to thought and turned off to just accepting what others say is true: you want to find out for yourself. Thus enters the vast world of research. The more research you do, the more you think, and the more you think, the more you research. You also begin to realize how little you actually know compared to the vast amount of knowledge available in the world. Although I can't learn it all, I knew that I was lacking in many areas and needed to practically engage my mind with the praxis of missions. I had floated along too long allowing others to dictate the theories, and it was time for me to step up to the proverbial plate, experience in hand, and attempt to engage the theoretical world through research, writing, and hopefully, a contribution to the academy, and ultimately the Kingdom of God.

And this is how I came to the conclusion: I should get a PhD!

So, here we are on my journey to becoming a research practitioner in missiology. After much prayer and research, I found just the right program for me at the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary. I started a PhD program in Intercultural Studies in December of 2011 and am now trudging along this 5-6 year long path. It has not been easy and requires a great deal of discipline, however, I am thankful for this opportunity.

I am actually in the library right now, and need to get back to work, but have started this blog to journal my path, form some thoughts, discuss some missiological topics, post research findings, and engage with others on the journey.

So here we go!  From missionary to missiologist: come & follow Shannon's journey to a PhD.